But dear Madame, there are still positive things in live, before i scare you away of reading this open hearted letter.
I even had the chance to experience your splendid performance. Thanks to a treat of my sis , we went with the carriage to London. More specific the “two” carriage as to the confusion of the conductor. We saw and experienced the horror of a london dungeon , not the kind of dungeon i like, but still very entertaining with a surprising ending in an Australian way.And as highlight we went to see your performance were i managed to miss your most beautiful aria in the history of music. So please , do forgive me, i really don’t know how this happened . I even had a sleepless night over it.
I also would like to take the occasion to talk about signs or changing points in life, if i may, dear Madame. The road i was struggling on is only heading to a dead end. So i had to take the risk. Heading back was not an option to a half Australian as my self who believes in the icons of Oz, the emu and kangaroo who can’t walk backwards. I’m gonna step out my toyota car , step of the road to nowhere straight into the bush and find myself another track that’s gonna lead me somewhere. It’s been a hard decision, leaving everything behind again, especially my close family , sis and godchild. But since i made that decision , and those are the signs i’m talking about , things are looking more brighter, once and a while the sun is breaking trough the clouds.
I have being notified by the local city council that they recognise the existence of my little farm, euralia and I got my old job back in alice. Things are just working again. The 25 of august , the plane to Oz is awaiting . I got still three more weeks as a Belgian-Australian in Loksbergen, and will be a Belgian-Australian in Oz again. The good thing about going bush again is, that i will be among the native locals. As in there transition between child to man there teeth been knocked out, i will fit in properly. I have to say it’s not up to me if i made it to manhood or not but the physical signs are there. And i’ll have again the native female attraction , not that i yearn for it, but it’s always a nice feeling to be wanted.
Also the state of my english writing will improve before it really turns to shit. But like i always say the inner meaning is always importer then the external side of it. And i ‘ll have the change to chase after pokemon in the bush.
So it’s not a goodbye , dear madame, it’s a whole new journey.
It’s been a while since we last spoke. It’s been a time of doubts, decisions and self-meditation. But i finally threw the dice on table, and he is still rolling because i don’t know the outcome.
On 25 august i fly direction Alice. Something had to be changing. Slowly i was stepping toward a cliff with no future roads ahead. The hardest thing is getting your roots back after throwing them away by immigrating to the land of Oz. And i have to confess , i still didn’t found them. I’ll never be a Belgium again and i never will be an Australian nether. I belong to a rare race known as the Belgian -Australians.
The last months/year in my little farm in Loksbergen were fucking hard. I reckon this is the second time in my life the ground underneath my feet just fades away. The first time was when this weblog came to existence as a kind of self-help and to put things in perspective. The time i just immigrated to Oz and my (ex) misses decide to run away with a Aussie bloke and leave me behind on my own with a negative bank account and just a car that still had to be payed off in a strange foreign country. I could say that was an earthquake at that moment.Nowadays it was more like a slowly shifting earth movement. Since my return to my birth country things went completely the wrong way. A break up with another misses . The administration to bring my little farm in existence drove my bank account slowly from green to red no matter how hard i worked.
A periodic time of constant pain and the lost of a few teeth in the upper jaw. My creative children funobjects and loving spermies that i brought to existence were not such success that i hoped for. All those things drove me in a complete social isolation. I barely dared to speak because woman who occasionally tried to seduce me ran away in horror when i answered there call.
So dear Madame, i hope you’ll forgive me my long absence of my writing and creativity. I’m not asking for your pity . I’m just stating the facts where i’m dealing with at the moment. I know i’m a survivor. Damned , i survived bush fires, snake attacks , an alien abduction , horny devils, managed to piss blind in a toilet without spoiling the toilet seat and even the asbestos hell of a mining site in the outback.
