Time to sell

I’m spending most time of the day at the building site. My sunny days are filled with an early start at 530 in the morning till the late afternoon, 

But there is still a lot to organise in the time that is left over in a day. Time is a strange thing. It doesn.t care about anything. It is the most selfish thing. It just keep moving . It doesn’t care about those living creatures that are walking around this globe, trying to organise and fit all there tasks in those precious minutes. You can’t bribe or buy some extra time a day.

So the only thing a human, and humans are the only living things crazy enough to do it, is trying to force our cheat in the conventional living hours to get spare time in that fixed time frame of a day. 

One of the ways to do so is, waking up at hours half of the globe is still somewhere in a dreamworld. In those hours , i’m going trough the last stuff i gathered around here. The few things that are still on this side on the globe. Things that need to be sold, things that need to be thrown away and things that i can’t part with. It’s a walk trough memory lane, going trough the stuff i gathered. The simplest things just brings back precious moments to life. A rock that is being taken from a mining town where the dead are buried vertical. Fake rubies gathered while dingo’s are howling. A collar of a companion where you shared all kind of emotions with. Dusty pictures albums from a past life are opened again.

It’s a strange thing going trough your personal stuff. Looking back at your own past seeing lost dreams, lost companions, lost time, lost youth, lost stuff. History has a way to repeat itself.

Things that were pricey are thrown away, and cheapy things are kept while doing for the second time a clean up of my own past.

Slowly, things are getting organised and the stuff i once had is getting reduced to the minimal. Every week the bin and my future luggage are both getting over weighted. The Internet is getting more and more stuff that ‘s for sale while the time just creeps on.

But i have an agreement with time, i’m allowed to make my own time for the precious things that define my own life. 

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The last run

A double rainbow was saying goodbye again.

The land of Oz was calling again and especially all my debts. I managed to get debts everywhere around the globe. 

After the usually 36 hour flight i was back in my little single room with table and bed. Empty again, physically, emotionally but this time also financially.  But i had no time to think about that. A bush job was calling. 

Epenara, a Little aboriginal community. A little bit of painting and modifying certain things. It was a short trip, but a welcome one. No time for jet lag, and especially no time of thinking.

It is all changing. Companies are changing , people are changing, i am changing. Ways of life are changing. The company changed from a family business to a factory. All trade Australians were changed by one trade Indians. The fuck off boss mentality was changed to a yes boss mentality. The bush jobs were disappearing in the company. The bush team was breaking apart. Only the workshop was running in a high tempo of robot kind of individual tasks.

It’s a good thing thou, that all trade persons are needed for certain jobs. A new youth centre had to be builded on site. And because of the need of those all trade workers , i was one of them on the team. Sitting high on the beams of the roof i’m working my debts off. Thinking of a rainbow elsewhere. 

It was getting fucking hard , time and time again to change over of life style. From a family landowner to an all trade monk. Living at two places and cultures at the time is a strange thing.

It brings a certain isolation with it. People on both side just see you as a temporary fill up in their life. But things are how they are. Situations are asking a natural reaction where nobody has an influence on. Trying not to pause a lifestyle and restart another one is my fight against the natural cause of things. trying to mix those both lifestyles to one. But it is a fight i feel i’m losing it. 

My heart already made a choice. It’s only my mathematical brain that is working against it. Telling me again and again to be patience, life needs to be organised and taken step by step. There is a natural and logical order in things, don’t fight against it. But fuck, it’s damned hard. The call is making me deaf.

As we know,

“ Tii iii iime is on your side, yes it is. “

A habitant

In mean time , Euralia was taking his final rough shape to become habitable .Electricity, gas and water were made operational.  You were able to walk around around without falling over strange building parts. The first unnatural heat was flowing trough the house.

I spend a few hours trying to solve the puzzle of the lay out of the timber floor. But i managed. I have a timber floor now. This was the last part of creating places in a place. The farm has his final layout of rooms. It has become a living area with places designed for certain activities. 

It is still a rough home, with basic means for survival. There is still a lot that has to be done, but like a child it needs time to grown and develop. Other ideas will be formed and take shape. It’s a constantly changing environment. Or is it my excuse of the poor shape of my wallet. 

But like always, future has his own way to develop. Chances are given and chances are taking away. The first furniture arrived trough my doorway, A welcome chance given by a former working place of my other half. A lot of furniture of a caring house were going to be throwned away. But i was given the opportunity to have a look and use what i could use of it. So i managed to get a whole household together in one day. From a spoon to a comfortable sofa. Many

thanks for this kind of opportunity.

Slowly i was moving in at the little town. Rooms were getting used for there originated reason, the first dishes were done. The first smell of a spag bol was filling the house. The house heard the first snoring of a habitant. Closets were placed and filled with stuff that was scattered around in different places during the last two years. Yep, the first signs of a different life were forming.

A unknown life with unknown possibilities.

Counting

The next two months , i was again travelling between the Netherlands and Belgium. The sun we brought from Spain was keeping us in a relaxing mood. Another swimming pool was put up. And many hours were spend trying to get out the lazy mood. But it has to be done. The daily life goes on with the dreams and chores we have. 

Work had to be done. Things needed to be organised. Paperwork had to be filled in. 

Ideas has to be formed. Ways have to be followed.  In the mean time the little farm in Loksbergen was calling to be transformed and to be modified.

Dinners followed, parties followed. Day trips followed. Canoe trips followed. It was the summer of 2013. The sun kept shining and the good spirit was following.

Days just passed by without knowing. But still there was a little shadow hanging on the holiday. I couldn’t really relax and let go. The shadow of  a farm was hanging above my head. Bills had to be payed. And while not working and receive any of those most desired paper things, the numbers on my account were going down , and going down fast. It was a mathematical challenge to calculate and figure out how to come around the next weeks.

After being used to not think about precious account numbers it was a change i couldn’t get used to that easily. My mind kept calculating and trying to figure out strategic moves. Sleepless nights and unreasonable behaviour were following , what didn’t give a good effect on people close to me. Not being able to really enjoy where i was and who i was with.

But i have been there once before, a time the world only existed of the moment itself and the things you saw at that moment were also the only things you had. If i hadn’t been there before in that lonely and cold place without dreams and future before, i would be running around in panic and not knowing how to behave. 

But it was a challenge and definitely a challenge for people around me. But thankfully they were patient and stood by and watched my strange behaviour that occurred occasionally.

Ola Ola

A holiday in a holiday. Marbella was the place called. I was just recovering from a plane trip of 24 hours and was going to step back on the plane for just a lousy 3 hours.

10 days of sun , beaches and rest. The sun wasn’t important for me. I’m living in the sun 8 months a year, the other months i’m in Belgium or the Netherlands. So you can figure it out yourself.

It was a time of no regrets, sorrows or stress. It was a time of restaurants with lousy food and good food. It was a time of beaches and swimming pools. It was a time of rest, rest and more rest.

The days started by walking to the sofa on the terrace and laying down for a while till it was time to get up and to get ready to move to the beach to find a good spot to lay down.

Once that spot was find it was hard to get back up again. The only time that worked was when the sun was getting to hot on the body. Cooling down was becoming a necessity. it was your survival instinct that made you walked to the water. The hot sand was forcing you to take a run from the relaxing sun bed to the stressing cold seawater. 

We also managed to do a field trip. The search of missing flipper. With ten people gathered in a rescue boot we were going to do an attempt to find flipper. After a time we know that flipper wasn’t going to appear for tourist cruising in a noisy rescue boat. So we gave up the rescue of flipper and just started to enjoy the ride. Taking pictures of each other and the endless sea without flipper on the background. 

And rescuing was something that was a red tape trough our holiday. The kids managed to save a tiny little fish that was caught in a miraculous way in a bathing suite from an horrible dead of choking. Whole the beach was witness of this miraculous saving of a living being,

But time flies by when you try to save the wildlife of Spain. And the deadline arrives after all.