Red Lights

It’s a strange world. The things your heart seeks the most. Your heart never seems to find.

Everywhere i’m standing in the front of a red light. I’m starting to hate that big red light. I’m trying to find a big hamer to smash it, but i’m to afraid that i will turn another nail of my fingers in a blue color. I lost almost my middlefinger and one nail is never gonna be the same again. So my hamer is just laying in my eyesight. Ready to be drawed.

The works of Euralia are completely putted to a stop. A house that i bought with all the official papers seems they are not all that official. Illegal structures are suddenly on my land and i need to prove that there is really standing a house since the years i don’t know. I wonder if i didn’t bought a ghost house or maybe i’m just living in a farm created in my mind. I’m probably just walking around on a bare piece of land. Damned , now i think about it, My pore neighbors. They have seen certain images that i probably don’t want to see from myself.

Two years .i’m already working to get an official document of the legality of euralia . And every time the city makes up another argument to disprove my application. A non existing house, a door that s to far away , to less duplicates of the application, and on and on it goes . 

And every thing has to be payed, and because i earn millions driving around with carparts, it s not really a problem. But eventually my lamborghine is gonna run out of fuel and i'll have to drive around with my mercedes. And all the parties that i’m giving to all my friends every week that s also gonna come to an end. And my daily dinner in a fancy restaurant with my girlfriend is gonna end to. I'll have to say goodbye to my luxury live.

I never thought about it but money is really important . Slowly and very slowly without knowing , you start to get in a social isolement. Your world is getting smaller and smaller , and i’m already living in a non existing house. The free time you have you try to spend it to escape out of that  money isolement . Trying to start up a project that  exist already for a few years in my head, The making of funny objects for home and garden. But its all a vicious circle , on the end you can t make things real from your imagination , and i’m already living in a imaginary farm. 

I’m starting to believe that maybe everything is imaginary

So i really do apologise to all my friends , lovers, haters that i’m living on my isolated imaginary piece of land . But i promise one day i will escape from all that imaginary, and then we all have a real barbie in a real world.

Hansy in numberland

Yes , i’m still here.

I found a job. One day a phone call changed everything again. I could start a new job. A job i managed to get without the interaction of interim . The effort of my stubbornness to call again and again for a job that i was interested in ,was finally opening his doors.

I was stepping in the world of millions of car parts.

The company is situated a few k’s away and there were two shifts . A perfect situation in my case. It ‘s an international distribution centre of car parts trough the world. The red light on the fork of the road turned green and i was driving again in a direction i wanted to go.

So nowadays i m driving around with a little forklift , called a BT. Unbelievable how many parts there are collected together to make a car. I’m driving around trough million of car parts laying above and beneath, to the left and to the right .Packages everywhere in all kind of shapes. My task is to put packages with a serial number in a certain spot where it belongs. 

An eight hour shift looking at numbers . Trying to find the difference between the numbers ,  because certain boxes are just look-a-likes. 34BD86-ATO312 34DB68-ATC312 . So at nighttime i’m not counting sheep but numbers. Numbers and letters are just popping up in my head. And with regrets i concluded that my eyes are missing certain parts of the letters and numbers. The sharpness of the lines was gone. Damned. I needed artificial help. With magnifying glasses the sharpness came back and mistakes were banned.

The hours that i had to race amongst the million car parts gave me extra hours to work on my own dreams. The garden is coming along even with a delay that wasn’t part of my dreams. I was able to put a 6 mil drill bit trough my middle finger while hanging some climb ropes for my precious plants. Projects are possible to fulfil and furniture is a part of it. The shape of a middle age table was getting produced. 

And still while i, m driving around with my little forklift full of parts of a car ii hope that an officer and a gentleman is gonna walk trough the door and take me up in his arms , walk away to a wonderful life. Na, that's not a good thought !