A double rainbow was saying goodbye again.
The land of Oz was calling again and especially all my debts. I managed to get debts everywhere around the globe.
After the usually 36 hour flight i was back in my little single room with table and bed. Empty again, physically, emotionally but this time also financially. But i had no time to think about that. A bush job was calling.
Epenara, a Little aboriginal community. A little bit of painting and modifying certain things. It was a short trip, but a welcome one. No time for jet lag, and especially no time of thinking.
It is all changing. Companies are changing , people are changing, i am changing. Ways of life are changing. The company changed from a family business to a factory. All trade Australians were changed by one trade Indians. The fuck off boss mentality was changed to a yes boss mentality. The bush jobs were disappearing in the company. The bush team was breaking apart. Only the workshop was running in a high tempo of robot kind of individual tasks.
It’s a good thing thou, that all trade persons are needed for certain jobs. A new youth centre had to be builded on site. And because of the need of those all trade workers , i was one of them on the team. Sitting high on the beams of the roof i’m working my debts off. Thinking of a rainbow elsewhere.
It was getting fucking hard , time and time again to change over of life style. From a family landowner to an all trade monk. Living at two places and cultures at the time is a strange thing.
It brings a certain isolation with it. People on both side just see you as a temporary fill up in their life. But things are how they are. Situations are asking a natural reaction where nobody has an influence on. Trying not to pause a lifestyle and restart another one is my fight against the natural cause of things. trying to mix those both lifestyles to one. But it is a fight i feel i’m losing it.
My heart already made a choice. It’s only my mathematical brain that is working against it. Telling me again and again to be patience, life needs to be organised and taken step by step. There is a natural and logical order in things, don’t fight against it. But fuck, it’s damned hard. The call is making me deaf.
As we know,
“ Tii iii iime is on your side, yes it is. “
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