Counting

The next two months , i was again travelling between the Netherlands and Belgium. The sun we brought from Spain was keeping us in a relaxing mood. Another swimming pool was put up. And many hours were spend trying to get out the lazy mood. But it has to be done. The daily life goes on with the dreams and chores we have. 

Work had to be done. Things needed to be organised. Paperwork had to be filled in. 

Ideas has to be formed. Ways have to be followed.  In the mean time the little farm in Loksbergen was calling to be transformed and to be modified.

Dinners followed, parties followed. Day trips followed. Canoe trips followed. It was the summer of 2013. The sun kept shining and the good spirit was following.

Days just passed by without knowing. But still there was a little shadow hanging on the holiday. I couldn’t really relax and let go. The shadow of  a farm was hanging above my head. Bills had to be payed. And while not working and receive any of those most desired paper things, the numbers on my account were going down , and going down fast. It was a mathematical challenge to calculate and figure out how to come around the next weeks.

After being used to not think about precious account numbers it was a change i couldn’t get used to that easily. My mind kept calculating and trying to figure out strategic moves. Sleepless nights and unreasonable behaviour were following , what didn’t give a good effect on people close to me. Not being able to really enjoy where i was and who i was with.

But i have been there once before, a time the world only existed of the moment itself and the things you saw at that moment were also the only things you had. If i hadn’t been there before in that lonely and cold place without dreams and future before, i would be running around in panic and not knowing how to behave. 

But it was a challenge and definitely a challenge for people around me. But thankfully they were patient and stood by and watched my strange behaviour that occurred occasionally.