Frustrations

There are no words for. 

Three months of subscribing to every database you imagine that’s job related. Three months of applying for jobs ,jobs from mailman to iron melting , while losing the counts of  the amount of jobs you put your name on, and  even managing to apply different times for the same job. 

But what makes it so frustrated is that you receive every week an email saying there are 10342 new jobs available but you never gets a response of all the  mails you send.

But maybe it s my previous work that i did for a interim office and the comments i had that put me on a blacklist. like they do when people aren’t able to pay there bills anymore. I never heard  an interim office again after my post. Maybe they started to think i am one of those investigators from a TV show that goes undercover.

But my frustrations are having consequences. My believe in my weekly email that says there are 12322 new jobs available is gone. My believe that a interim office really calls you because they really want you to have a job , is gone. Maybe they get a fonds for every new client they get in there database. Because once you react on a job ad , the interim office contacts you straight away to come to the office because the job ad is urgent. and once you are in the date base you are lost and forgotten.

The final drop in the bucket was when one of the interim said they couldn’t help me because i was already in there database.

So i’m wondering if everything is a cover up of the real situation. There are no jobs. Interim just are paying them selves by getting as many employees and getting the big firms to do excursions in there own company by interim employees.

But my frustration doesn’t stop. At the end i need money and in desperate times you try to look for other means. Online there are millions of ways to make millions, but they are only creative people who are trying to make there own money by willing people who freely post a little bit of money in the hope they get a lot of money in return but still are waiting for that money. So maybe i have to start asking donations and financial support on the Internet.

So the big smile i had when i stepped from the plane is gone. I am a immigrant in my own birth country. Choices that i made freely are changed to choices that i m obliged to do involuntary. The rainbow i saw shining is a long way away and getting every day further and further. 

Everybody has his own life that demands there own time.